DIYAM 27

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Maman Maama

Episode Twenty Seven : Acceptance

Na bude idona a hankali ina kallon ceiling kamar mai son fahimtar yadda aka tsara shi. Kaina yayi min nauyi haka kirjina. Sheshshekar kukan da
naji a kusa dani ce ta sakani waigawa ina kallon mai kukan, Asma’u, tayi sharkaf da hawaye da majina da gumi sai kukanta take yi bil hakki. Na tashi hannuna dafe da kaina nace “Asma’u?” Sai ta juyo da sauri ta rungume ni “Adda dan Allah kema karki mutu ki barni” na rungume ta ina dan jijjiga ta nace “bazan mutu ba kinji, ina nan tare dake” sai ta daho kai tana kallona tace “Adda wai Sadauki ya tafi da gaske? Inna tace wai ya tafi kuma ba zai kuma dawowa ba” naji gaba-daya abinda ya faru yana dawomin kaina kamar film, wani kuka ya taho min amma sai na rike shi a nace mata “zai dawo kinji Yar Asama (sunan da yake tsokanar ta dashi) zai dawo wata rana”.

Na gyara mata kwanciyar ta a jikina naja bargo na lullube mu tare, sai kuma na fara bitar abubuwan da suka wakana, na hango fuskar Sadauki a idona da irin bacin ran dana gani a idonsa, na tuno kalaman daya gayamin a kunnena. “Be strong” he said, but how can I be strong without him bayan shi din shine strength dina? Yace in bude hannayena in karbi duk wani abin da ya tunkaro ni but how can I do that bayan ya sabar min da kasance wa shield dina? Shi yake tsayawa a gabana ya kare ni daga duk wanda yayi niyyar zalintata, shi ya shagwaba ni inyi duk abinda nake so saboda ina takama ina da Sadauki. Yanzu banj da Sadauki kuma. I felt so exposed. So alone. So scared. Ji naui kamar duk mutanen duniya ne suka hada kansu suke nema su zalince ni. Suddenly sai naji duk duniyar ta ishe ni, to menene amfanin zama a cikinta? Me zan tsinta a cikin rayuwar indai har aka aura min wanda bana so aka ce in cigaba da zama dashi har karshen rayuwata? Sai naji feeling irin feeling din da yammatan da suke kashe kansu saboda auren dole suka ji kafin su kashe kan nasu. Sai naji feeling irin feeling din da yammatan da suke guduwa daga gaban iyayensu suke shiga duniya suke ji kafin su gudu din, ashe dai laifin su kadan ne, ashe dai tura su akayi zuwa limit din da shaidan ya kada musu gansar sa su kuma suka bishi.

Sai dare sannan na tashi na hada sallar magrib da isha saboda wani irin zazzaɓi da ciwon kai da nake yi. Ƙwaƙwalwa ta ta zama blank kamar babu komai a cikinta saboda na rasa wanne tunanin zanyi. Ni dai bana so in shiga duniya saboda I might end up never seeing Sadauki again tunda bansan inda zan same shi ba. Ba kuma naso in kashe kaina saboda nasan wuta zan tafi. Bani kuma da wanda zan kai kara gurinsa saboda su masu shirin yi min auren nan su ne dangin uwata kuma sune dangin ubana, dan Alhaji Babba a lokacin zan iya cewa shi yake juya kowa a family, saboda shi yake da naira. Sai na dora goshina a kasa na fara gayawa Allah, ina rokon sa ya sakamin ga duk wanda ya zalince ni, ina rokonsa kuma ya bani karfi da juriyar daukan duk wata kaddara daya rubuta min.

A kan sallayar na kwanta na lulluba da hijab dina, ina jin Inna ta shigo ta taba wuya na sai kuma ta fita, sai gasu sun dawo da Hajiya Yalwati da Murja, ina jin su suka kamani suka saka ni a mota sannan naji muna tafiya, na dago kai na kalli Hajiya yalwati data rungume ni a cinyar ta nace “Hajiya, dan Allah bana son auren hamma Saghir”. A asibitin muna zuwa suka bamu gado, sunce temperature ta tayi sama da yawa dan haka sai na kwana a gurinsu for monitoring, suka yi min allurai ciki har dana bacci dan haka na samu nayi bacci amma cike da mafarkai. Cikin mafarkan da nayi harda wanda na ganni na soka wa hamma Saghir wuka a ciki.

Washegari aka sallamo ni tare da warning cewa jini na yana neman hawa, as young as I was. Muna dawowa gida Hajiya Yalwati ta zauna tana jera wa Inna bayanin likita Inna ta fara sharar hawaye tana cewa “ni in kuna wannan maganar sai inga kamar kuna dora min laifi ne, ni ya kuke so inyi ne wai? Ta yaya kuke tunanin zan je gurin Alhaji Babba in ce masa ba zai aurawa Saghir Diyam ba? Ta yaya? Ga Hafsa ma tayi fushi dani tunda ta tafi jiya har yau taki daukan wayata” Hajiya Yalwati tace “kamar yadda shi da matarsa suka so kansu suke neman hada Diyam da tantirin dansu kema haka zaki so taki yar kice ba za’ayi ba” Inna tace “yanzu zumunci har ya kai haka lalacewa? To ku ku gaya masa mana? Ku gaya masa Diyam tace bata so gashi har tana neman salwanta saboda haka” Hajiya Yalwati ta rike baki tace “ni asu wa? Ina magana cewa za’ayi kishi nake da bakin ciki”. 

Da rana sai ga abinci kala kala wai inji Hajiya Babba, ko kallon inda suke banyi ba. Ana jimawa sai gata tazo, tunda muka zo gidan ban taba ganinta a dakin ba sai yau. Ta zauna a bakin gado suna gaisawa da Inna sannan ta data jikina tace min “sannu Diyam” kai kawai na gyada mata, tace da Inna “ba zai wuce malaria ba fa, ita ake ta fama yanzu” Inna ta kauda kai tace “likita yace jininta ne yake neman hawa, hawan jini ne yake kokarin kamata” Hajiya Babba ta bude baki tace “hawan jini kuma? Wa likitan ya gayawa?” Inna ta ce “Hajiya Yalwati, ita ta kaita asibitin ai” Hajiya Babba tayi murmushi tace “hmmm, neman magana ne kawai irin na Hajiya Yalwati. Babu wani hawan jini ni na sani” sai kuma ta kauda maganar “kinga fita ma zanyi nace bara inzo in duba ta. Kinsan dazu da safe Alhaji ya siyasa Saghir gidan da zasu zauna, shine yanzu zanje in ga gidan sannan inyi lissafin duk kayayyakin da za’a siya. Wannan abu ai tuwona mai na ne. Kar kiji komai duk abinda ake yiwa yarinya na gata to za’a yiwa Diyam a dakinta. Ni da kaina zan siyo komai tun daga kayan daki har kitchen”.

Tana fita Inna ta bita da harara tana magana kasa kasa. Sai kuma ta dauki waya ta kira zuwa can aka dauka ta fara magana “haba Hafsa, wai dame kike so inji ne, da mutuwar mijina ko da auren dolen da za’ayiwa Diyam ko kuma da fushin da kike yi dani? Yanzu Hajiya Babba take gaya min wai an bata kudi zata siyo wa Diyam kayan daki, saboda Allah bake da Fatima ya kamata kuyi wa Diyam siyayya ba? Wannan ai ba hurumin ta bane ba. Gaskiya kizo kije gurin Alhaji sai ki nuna masa kamar baki san maganar ba ki tambayeshi ya bayar da kudin kayan dakin Diyam zaki je ki siyo mata” sun jima suna ta mayar da magana sannan suka yi sallama.

Mama bata zo gidan ba sai washegari, shima tana zuwa tace “ni fa ba wannan maganar ce ta kawo ni ba, zuwa nayi in duba jikin Diyam. Su je suyi ta siya mata koma menene ba damuwa ta bace wannan. Ni damuwa ta shine in dauko yaron nan kafa da kafa in kawo shi har gidan nan amma a wulakanta su har dake a ciki, ni da ban shi nake yi ba dan Diyam nake yi. Kuma wallahi yadda naji takaicin abinda kukayi wa yaron nan ko wallahi da niyya nayi in bashi auren Rumaisa, dan dai kawai yace min a’a ne wallahi da sai dai kawai ki gansu tare da Rumaisa sai kuma inga yadda zaki yi da shi. Suma kuma yan uwansa suka ce a’a ba yanzu zasuyi masa aure ba wannan ma dan rana daya ya tayar da hankalinsa suma kuma ya tayar musu shi yasa suka taho nema masa”. Haka ta gama fadanta ta tafi babu wanda ta gaisar a gidan.

Washegari na dan samu sauki babu laifi. Amma zuciyata babu sauki a tare da ita sai ma kara zafi da takeyi kamar ana hura min wuta a cikinta. Inna ta matsamin dole nayi wanka wanda rabona dashi tun ranar da Sadauki yazo gidan. Na fito daga toilet na tsaya a gaban mudubi ina kallon kaina. I can’t believe how many things ne sukayi changing a rayuwata in just few weeks? Har yanzu fa ba’ayi arba’in din baffa da Ummah ba amma wai har mutane sun manta dasu, har an shafe babinsu an bude sabon babi na yiwa yarsa aure a shekara goma sha huɗu. Nayi wa yarsa auren da aka san inda ace yana da rai babu wanda ya isa ya ko tunkare shi da maganar danshi ba damuwa yayi da kudin mutum ba ballantana mutum yace ya daina bashi.

Ina cikin saka kaya ne naji hayaniya a palo har da guɗa, sai kuma gasu Murja nan sun shigo inda nake suna ta murna da dariya. “Amaryar Hamma” Salma autar Hajiya Babba wadda ba’a jima da bikinta ba ta fada. Sai kuma suka kwashe da dariya. Kusan duk yayan Alhaji Babba wadanda suke aure dama yammata da suke gidan duk suna nan. Na dauke kaina ba tare dana kula su ba na zauna ina daura dankwali na, “munga kaya masha Allah, kaya sunyi kyau, ko dan gidan gwamna ne iya kacin kayan lefen da za’a kawo kenan” naji wani suka a kirjina “lefe? Nawa?” Sai na kwanta a kan gado na rufe idona. Ina jin murja tace “ku bata so fa, kar ku saka ta kuka” Suwaiba tace “bata son wa? Hamman? Anya kuwa akwai macen da zata ce bata son hamma komai kyanta? Kunya ce dai kawai take ji amma babu ma zancen wai bata sonsa” Aysha tace “ni kam zan so inga yayanku, wow, Diyam kyau hamma kyau, in ina da ciki zanke zuwa gidan ku dan in haifi yaya kyawawa nima” na juya baya na jawo hijab dina na rufe fuskata a raina ina cewa ‘ya’ya kuma? Ni da Saghir? Tabbas nasan me akeyi ake samun yayan but I will die first kafin in barshi ya taba ni. For I thought I belong to one, and one alone. Sadauki. Sai kawai tunanin matan da suke kashe mazajensu cikin dare yazo min and it didn’t look so bad. 

Adda Zubaida ce ta shigo ta kore su gaba-daya. “Manya manya daku kunzo kun saka yar karamar yarinya a gaba kuna tsokanar ta”  Salma tace “yar karama ce amma ta kusa shiga layin manya” suka fice suna dariya. Adda Zubaida ta zauna a kusa dani ta dafa ni taji ina sheshshekar kuka tace “kiyi hakuri Diyam kinji? Kiyi fatan wannan hadin ya zamo miki alkhairi. Duk sanda kike bukatar wani abu ko wata shawara ki neme ni kinji? Karki dauka cewa ni yayar Saghir ce ki dauka cewa ni yayarki ce kinji” na gyada mata kai.

Ina nan kwance aka yi ta shigowa da akwatinan ana jere wa a gefe, ina jin daya daga cikin yan aikin gidan da suke shigowa da kayan tace da dayar “ai ga amaryar nan a kwance” sai kuwa suka hada baki suka rangada min wata uwar guda a kaina wadda naji kamar zata tsaga min kan. Sai bayan da kowa ya watse sannan Inna ta shigo ita da Asma’u. Ta tashe ni zaune tana murmushi “tashi Diyam, tashi kiga kayan lefen ki” ta fara bubbudewa, “kinga wadannan sarkokin? Wannan zata yi miki kyau. Kinga pearls din da kike ta nacin in siya miki. Kinga wani lace? Dankari! Wannan ai na zuwa gidan biki ne. Ga takalmin can mai tsini irin wanda kike so” ni dai kallon ta kawai nake yi ko kadan banji zuciyata tayi sha’awar wani abu a cikin kayan ba, na kalli Asma’u data baje a gefe tana ta zaben kayan kwalliya wai duk tana so in bata. Sai kuma ina ta tashi ta fita ta bani guri. Na kalli kayan, akwatuna ne set hudu, pink, purple, peach da blue kowanne kuma da kyar ake rufe shi saboda kaya. Na mika hannu na na dauki wata bra ina kalla a raina nace “ko me suke tunanin zan saka a cikin wannan brazier? Na mayar da ita na ajiye na koma na kwanta na juya wa kayan baya.

Kwana biyu bayan nan ina zaune ina cin abincin da yanzu kullum sai Hajiya Babba ta girka ta aiko min dashi Inna kuma sai ta matsa min naci, sai ga Murja nan ta shigo “Diyam Alhaji yace ki shirya zamu fita yanzu gaba daya” ban kalle taba nace “babu inda zanje” ta daga hannu tace “ni dai yar aike ce”. Sai kuma ga Hajiya Babba nan tazo da kanta, taci kwalliya kamar mai shirin zuwa gidan biki tace “innar Asma’u Alhaji yace Diyam tazo muje ganin gida da ita, in yaso in da akwai wani abin da take so sai ta fada a siya” tana fita Inna tace “ki tashi maza ki shirya ku tafi” na bata rai “Inna ni babu abinda nake so, in na gani ma babu abinda zan ce su kara” ta watsa min harara dole na tashi na shiga toilet na wanke fuskata na fito na saka hijab tace “kuma ko dan mai ba zaki shafa ba?” Na dawo na lakuci mai na shafa na juya tace “au dan nace mai shine kika shafa man shi kadai?” Nayi kamar zanyi kuka tace jeki.

Ina fita na tarar da yayan gidan suna ta shiga mota, matan gidan kuma suna gefe a tsaye suna hira. Na tsaya daga gefe ina kallon compound din, na kalli dai dai inda muka tsaya da Sadauki rannan sai naji ina ma dai ranar zata dawo in sake ganin sa at least koda sau daya ne. Na kalli gurin motoci sai idona ya sauka a kansa, cikin normal shigarshi ta dogayen kaya yayi kyau sai kyalli yake yi amma fuskar nan babu annuri ko digo a cikinta. Kallo daya nayi masa naji kamar duniyar ce take kara kuntatamin dan haka na juya na bar gurin na tafi inda yara suke shiga mota sai kuma naji kira da muryar Hajiya Babba “Diyam, ki dawo nan tare zamu tafi dake” na juya kamar zanyi kuka na koma, sai naga sun doshi motar da yake tsaye a kusa da ita, anti amarya tace “Diyam shiga gaba mu sai mu zauna a baya” na tsaya kawai ina kallon su kamar in rufe su da duka har suka gama shiga, shima ya shiga seat din driver ya zauna ya tayar da motar, sai da suka sake yi min magana sannan na kama handle din kofar jishi a rufe ni kuwa na koma da baya na nade hannu na a kirji. Hajiya Yalwati ta leko. “Ki shigo mana Diyam, ke fa muke jira” nace “kofar a rufe take Hajiya” ina jin Hajiya Babba tana yi masa magana, ya dauke kai kamar bai jita ba sannan kuma bayan wajan minti daya sai ya bude lock din. Na bude na zauna a makale a bakin kofa ba tare dana ko kalli side din da yake ba.

A hanya naji Hajiya Babba tana yiwa kishiyoyinta bayani “kunsan halin Saghir da rashin son hayaniya, wai shi ba zai zauna a cikin gari ba saboda kar mutane su dame shi, nace to kai me kanne da yawa? Namiji tilo a cikin mata? Ai dole ko gari ka bari sai kannenka sunje gidan ka, shine Alhaji ya biye masa aka siya masa gidan a can wajen gari, unguwar tokarawa acan zasu zauna” a raina nace ‘wato yadda zai samu damar kasheni hankali kwance’ ni a lokacin ban ma san unguwar ba sai dai naga mun dau hanyar barin gari, sai da muka wuce ‘yan kaba sannan muka sauka daga titi muka shiga unguwar dana lura kamar sabuwar unguwa ce. Tun daga nesa na gane gidan. A house fit for the only son of Alhaji Babba amma ko kadan banji kyan gidan ya burge ni ba. Mukayi packing kusan a tare dasu Murja, na fita na tafi gurin su muka shiga tare amma sai na zame na zagaya bayan gidan nayi zamana akan veranda r backdoor din gidan. Ina jiyo su suna ta hayaniya da iface ifacen su alamar suna cikin nishadi amma ko sha’awar inje inga gidan banyi ba, addu’a nake a raina kar Allah yasa ina da rabon ganin cikin gidan nan in dai a matsayin matar Saghir ce. Naji wata irin kewar Sadauki ta taso min, sau dubu gwara ace in zauna da Sadauki a gidan kasa me yoyo akan in zauna da Saghir a wannan gidan. 

Kamshin turare naji, na daga kai sai na ganshi a tsaye yana kallon gefe da alama bai san ma ina gurin ba. Fuskar nan kamar an aiko masa da mutuwa. Nayi saurin share hawayen fuskata saboda bana son ko kadan yaga weakness dina ballantana ya kara rainani. Motsin da nayi ne yasa ya juyo ya kalli inda nake, sai kuma naga ya tako cikin gadara yazo gabana ya tsaye ya kara tamke fuska yace “ke! Me na gaya miki rannan? Ba zaki je ki gaya musu ba sai kin je kin daukowa kanki abinda ba zaki iya ba ko?” Na mike tsaye na karkade hijab dina na juya zan bar masa gurin, ya damko hijab dina ya juyo dani yace cikin barazana “ba dake nake magana ba?” Na zabga masa hararar da nasan ba’a taba yi masa irinta ba nace “su wadanda kake magana a kansu ai sunfi kowa sanin cewa bana sonka, sunfi kowa sanin ina da wanda nake so wanda kuma yake sona, asalima dan su raba ni dashi ne suke neman makalamin kai”

The Game Has Began 

It is such a long episode ko?