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DIYAM 57

❤️ DIYAM ❤️

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Maman Maama

Episode Fifty Seven: Moving On

A hankali nake tafiya, enjoying my own company, feeling as free as a bird. Wannan feeling din da banji ba lokacin da Saghir yayi min sakin farko sai yanzu nake jinsa. Nayi murmushin da ya shiga har cikin zuciyata sannan a hankali na fara tariyo rayuwar
auren mu da Saghir a kaina. 

Shi dai Saghir, babban abinda yayi dooming rayuwar sa har ya kai shi ga stage din da yake ciki a yanzu shine rashin tarbiyya. Makauniyar soyayyar da iyayensa suka nuna masa tun yana jariri ita ce silar komai. Sai ya taso a matsayin sangartacce, mai son kansa kuma marar yawo saboda bai san yadda zaiyi ya kula da kannasa ba kwata kwata ballantana har ya kula wani, that including su kansu iyayen nasa. Rashin yawon sa shine ya bawa Sadauki da kuma Kabir damar kai shi inda yake a yanzu.

Na tuno ranar daya ce min bararoji a palon Hajiya, na tuno sanda ya shigo daki a gaban Inna yace baya sona, na tuno abinda ya faru a first night din mu da kuma abinda ya biyo baya, na tuno haihuwar twins, zama na a gida da kuma komawa ta gidansa. Inda ace zan zauna zan iya lissafa sau nawa muka yi magana ni  shi inus our first year of marriage. Har zuwa haihuwar Subay’a bata chanja zani ba. Na tuno da yawan comments din da yake yi akaina cewa bani da body parts din daya ke so a gurin mace, year after year, then suddenly lokaci daya ya chanja after ya gama gasa ni for about seven years sai kuma ya dawo yana bani kulawa always commenting on my beauty and the so called body parts din daya ke so wadanda a lokacin na fara developing dinsu. A duk lokacin da naga yana wannan care da comments din nasan inda maganar zata kare, his bed. I remember yadda yake yawan comment cewa I tasted different than sauran matan da yake sharing bed dinsa dasu. And then he said he loves me.

But that got me thinking, it that really love? I mean zaka iya cutar da wanda kake so? Ka dake shi ka aibatashi a gaban mutane ka aibata iyayensa masu rai da marasa rai sannan kace ‘you are really beautiful’ ka ja shi zuwa gadonka? It that love or something else?

Duk wanda yace baya sonka, ya wulakanta ka a lokacin da baka da physical appearance din daya ke so, sai daga baya kuma daka samu sannan yazo yake kulaka, to me that is not love, that is lust.

Nasan so kuma I don’t think I can hurt wanda nake so intentionally. Ko a gurin da ake aibata shima ba zan iya zama ba ballantana ni inyi da kaina. In na bata masa ransa kuwa to tabbas akan wani abu ne da nasan is for his own good. Kamar abinda na kudurce a raina cewa ina so yayi.

A tsakar gida na tarar da Inna da Asma’u suna ta gyaran gida saboda tashin su Maman Iman shekaran jiya. Na gaida ta sannan na mika mata takardar da Saghir ya bani na shige daki, ina jinta ta saka Asma’u ta karanta mata. Sai na zauna a gaban kujerar da Subay’a take kwance a kai ina kallonta a raina ina lissafin whats next a rayuwar mu ni da ita, Allah ne kadai masani amma ni nasan zanyi duk abinda ya kamata inyi a matsayi na na uwa dan ganin cewa ta samu farin ciki koda kuwa hakan yana nufin yin gibi ga nawa farin cikin. The first thing da zanyi shine in mayar da ita school, already tayi missing term guda gashi har anyi hutu ana shirin komawa sabon session. Dan haka na yanke shawarar nema mata school a arear gidan mu in saka ta wadda nasan Inna zata iya biya dan ni koboless nake a yanzu, hatta kudin recharge card ma bani akeyi.

Inna ta shigo ta zauna tana kallona da takardar a hannunta tace “na kira Hajiya Yalwati na gaya mata, nace ta gaya wa su Alhaji” na gyada kai kawai, sai kuma tace “Allah yasa hakan shi yafi miki alkhairi Allah kuma yasa karshen wahalar ki kenan” nace “ameen Inna. Nagode”.

Washegari da wuri Asma’u ta fita saboda tana ta harkar neman admission, ina jinsu suna waya da yayanta da sassafe a raina nace “kaga masu business trip”. Bayan ta fita nima na fita naje nayi mana register ni da Subay’a a islamiyyar bayan layin mu wadda ake yi safe da yamma. Sai a lokacin nayi dana sani dana yi jamb din nima maybe da yanzu nima ina neman admission din amma yanzu ya wuce ni sai next year. Bayan na dawo ne na tarar da bakuwa a palo tana jirana. Fauziyya. Sai naga duk ta chanja duk babu gayun nan, ga hijab a jiki, the first time da naga Fauziyya da hijab. Daga yanayin fuskarta na gane itama ta karbo tata takardar sai na maze muka gaisa tana ta yiwa Subay’a wasa, ni kuma sai na kira Subay’a na aike ta gurin Inna dan yanzu sam bana son yin hira a gabanta. 

Sai Fauziyya ta miko min wata takarda tace “kinga Halima” na karba na bude a raina ina saka ran ganin irin tawa takardar amma sai naga report ne daga asibiti da yake nuna cewa Fauziyya tana dauke da juna biyu. Na ninke na mika mata ina kokarin kakalo murmushi nace “well congratulations” sai ta fara share hawaye tace “zubar wa zanje inyi Halima. Ya zanyi dashi? Na gaya miki nayi aure ne saboda ina son inyi settling down a gidan miji, wannan cikin would have been a good news da ace abinda ya faru bai faru ba, yanzu ta yaya zanyi inyi raising baby alone babu miji babu mataimaki? Kinsan iyayena basu da rai, kuma yanzu ba kowa ne zai aure ni da baby ba, Saghir kuma….” Sai ta rufe fuskarta tana kuka, na taso na dawo kusa da ita ina rarrashinta tace “jiya da yamma naje ganinsa, ya bani takarda wai ya sake ni saboda bashi da ranar fitowa. Bai ma san da cikin ba ban gaya masa ba saboda so nake in zubar dashi” nace “to yanzu ni me yasa kike gaya min? Ba kya ganin cewa kina gaya min ne saboda deep down ba kya son zubarwar kina so wani ya baki shawara yace kar ki zubar?” Ta dago kai tana kallona sai ta gyada kai tace “haka ne, ina son baby na amma ya zanyi” nace “ni ba gashi yanzu an barni da Subay’a ba? Ke da kinyi karatu, ni fa secondary school kadai na gama da kyar, ba zaki iya ki nemi aiki da takardun ki ba ko dan teaching ne ko da private school ce ki ke yi kina samun kudin da zaki rike kanki da abinda Allah ya baki ba? Ni ina ganin in dai ba gani kikayi zaki takura ba to gwara ki ajiye batun aure a side ki samu abinyi first, in mijin yazo along the way shikenan, who knows? Maybe kiga Saghir ya fito nan bada dadewa ba” sai naga hope yazo fuskarta tace “da gaske? Zaki taimaka masa?” Na gyada kai nace “zanyi iyakacin kokari na, amma babu guarantee. Sai dai ina so kiyi min alkawarin ba zaki zubar da cikin ba” ta gyada kai da sauri tace “na fasa zubarwa insha Allah. Allah kuma ya baki sa’a akan abinda kika saka a gaba”. Mun jima muna hira sannan na raka ta bakin hanya ta tafi. 

Kwana biyu bayan nan da sassafe ina bacci naji ana ta haya niya a tsakar gida, na leko ta window sai naga ma’aikata ne suke ta shigo da kayan gini, na tashi na fito palo na gaishe da Inna na tambayeta “aikin menene za’ayi a gidan nan?” Sai tace “can dakunan za’a gyara sai a zuba kayanki da aka kwaso” ban wani damu da aikin ba da yamma zan tafi islamiyya na leka naga kusan sabo ake mayar da gurin. Hatta plaster da floor an kankare ana sake wasu, an cire ceiling da electric wiring duk za’a sake sai na dawo gurin Inna nace “wannan aikin Inna a ina aka samu kudin yinsa haka?” Bata kalle ni ba tace “matse bakina sai in gaya miki” ban sake cewa komai ba na juya na fita. 

Washegari da safe aka sauke katangar da akayi a tsakiyar gidan mu ya koma kamar yadda yake ada. Kwana biyu ana aikin aka mayar da tsofaffin dakunan inna tamkar brand new dan in ba sanin su kayi ba ba zaka gane suba. Maimakon inga an kawo kayana da aka debo daga gidan Saghir sai naga ana shigo da wadansu kayan wadanda ko a ido ka kalla kasan ba class dinsu daya da wadancan nawan ba. Sai na sake komawa gurin Inna “Inna ina wadancan kayan da aka dauko?” Bata kalle ni va tace “na siyar dasu na kara jari” sai na mayar da bakina na rufe.

Asma’u tana shigowa na jata gefe daya yadda Inna ba zata jiyo ba na fara zazzaga mata masifa “ke ce kika ce da mutumin can ya gyara mana gida?” Ta daga kafada “wanne mutumin kuma?” Nace “kar ki raina min hankali kinsan wanda nake nufi ai” tace “the last time I checked shima gidan su ne. Menene laifi a ciki dan na gaya masa masu haya sun tashi za’a zuba kayanki a ciki shine yace a bari azo a gyara gurin tukunna. Daga nan kuma sai ga kaya ya aiko dasu a zuba” na bita da harara nace “kice masa……” Tace “ince masa an gode? To zan gaya masa” sai na dauki katako kamar zan dake ta ita kuma ta fice da gudu.

Wasa wasa ana gama wa da dakunan inna nada muka koma ciki muka tare. Inna da Asma’u daki daya ni da Subay’a daki daya. Na dauko akwatunan kayan sawar mu da muka debo daga gidan Saghir na jera mana abin mu. Subay’a tana ta murna wai munyi sabon gida. “In Daddy ya dawo anan zamu zauna tare dashi”.

Daganan kuma aka fara gyaran dakunan Baffa. Aka gyare su tas suma aka saka sababbin furnitures aka barsu a matsayin gurin saukar baki. Inna tayi ta gayyatar yan uwa su zo suga sabon guri, kowa yazo ya gani yayi ta sam barka. Lokacin ne Adda zubaida itama tazo dai ta jani gefe tace “Alhaji ne ya turo ni gurinki. Yace inyi miki godiya sosai akan irin kokarin da kika yi tayi a lokacin shari’ar Saghir. Allah yayi miki albarka Allah ya bar zumunci kuma Allah yaji kan baffanku” nace “ameen. Shi kuma Allah ya fito dashi” “hmmmm” kawai tace, sannan tace “ki samu lokaci kije ki dubo alhajin” nace “to”. Sai kuma na kawo mata shawarar da nake ta sakawa a raina tuntuni nace “Adda, a shawarce ku manyan mu tare da Aunty Fatima dasu Inna ku ya kamata ku shiga cikin maganar Alhaji da Kawu. Ya kamata su daidaita haka nan tunda wanda ake rigimar a kansa ma yana can a rufe” tace “zasu daidaita ne, amma ba nan kusa ba kinsan cikin suwaiba ya ki fita har yau, shegen jika za’a ajiye musu, yarinyar ma an kaita Kollere a can zata haihu” na dafe kaina ina jin babu dadi, ina taisayawa yarinyar nan wallahi Saghir ya shafa mata bakin fenti marar goguwa. Yanzu dai yaya biyu za’a haifawa Saghir kenan. Sai na bata labarin cikin jikin Fauziyya, ta rike baki tace “to ai kuwa bana jin mutan gida sun sani”.

Duk wannan abinda ake yi shi oga mai gyaran gida ko keyarsa ban gani ba. Ban san ko ya dawo daga so called tafiyar ba ko kuma bai dawo ba. Amma kusan kullum ina jinsu suna waya shida kanwarsa kuma nasan suna gulmata dan sai inga ana maganar ana kallona ana dariya. In naga haka sai in tashi in bar gurin. 

A haka har akayi resuming school. Nayi wa inna maganar Subay’a sai tace in bincika makaranta mai kyau sai na gaya mata har na bincika ma na samu wata anan kusa damu wadda zata iya zuwa da kanta. Sai tace da safe in je inji fee dinsu da sauran abubuwa. Amma da safen ina tashi sai naga Asma’u ta tashi itama tana shiryawa nace ina zata je wai “hamma yace in shirya in shirya Subay’a zai zo da wuri muje a sata a school” cikin fada nace “oh dama yana gari kenan. In shi ya haifar min yar ba sai yazo ya dauke ta ba in gani” sai naga duk sun tsaya suna kallona sannan na fahimci nayi rashin kunya a naganar. Nace “amma inna sai ya fara gaya min ai ko? Kulawa ma ai yabawa ce” Asma’u tace “yace ai fushi kike yi dashi. Wai in yayi miki magana ma ba zaki kula shi ba” nace “ya gwada ya gani? Ni ina na ganshi ma balle inki kula shi?” Sai tace “to ki shirya sai kuje tare ku kaita” na tashi nace “bazanje ba ai bai gayyace ni ba”.

Ina kallo suka fita, sun jima sannan suka dawo Subay’a tana ta bata rai amma suna zama sai ta fara bani labarin sabuwar makarantar ta, ta nuna min uniform dinta da books din da already aka riga aka bata. Gobe zata fara zuwa fresh. Sai kuma naji dadin kula Subay’a da yayi har ya tuna cewa sabon session za’a shiga ya kamata  sata a school. Daganan kuma sai ya ajire driver wanda kullum yake zuwa ya kaita school sannan in an tashi ya dauko ta.

Asma’u ta samu admission a northwest university ta fara karatu. A lokacin ne nima na gayawa Inna kudirina na shiga computer school kafin shekara ta zagayo in nemi admission, harda karawa da cewa “irin wadda Sadauki yayi lokacin da baici jamb ba” wai duk dan ta bari saboda naga yanzu shine favorite person dinta. Amma sai ta tabe baki tace “wato ke lissafin karatu ma kike yi kenan, auren kuma fa?” Naji kamar zan saka kuka nace “aure kuma Inna? wanne irin aure dan Allah dan Annabi?” Sai tace “au baki san wanne irin aure ba? Ai kin kusa gama idda zaki sani a lokacin”  kamar ta fada da bakin mala’iku kuwa a ranar sai ga third period dina tazo. Ina cikin saka pad a daki sai gata ta shigo ta kalleni tace “to alhamdulillah!” sai naji duk kunya ta rufe ni. A raina nace “shin wai Inna auren dole zata sake yi min ne?” 

A ranar na shirya nace gidan Mama zan tafi in kwana biyu, amma inna ta hana ni tace “islamiyyar fa?” Haka naja jakata na mayar daki na dawo palo na cigaba da zama. 

Two weeks bayan nan, ina zaune zaman kallo zaman kashe wando kamar kullum sai jin muryar Sadauki nayi a tsakar gida yana tsokanar Subay’a da sunan da yake gaya mata “Subis” sai na mike da sauri har da dan guduna na shige daki na rufo kofa. Sound proof ne dan haka bana jiyo mai suke yi a palon sai daga baya Subay’a ta shigo ta turo baki, ta zauna a gefe na tace “wannan yayan naki ne yazo” nace “kin gaishe shi?” Ta gyada kai. 

Dan rashin ta ido sai ganin kiran sa nayi a waya ta. Na kalli wayar a raina nace “lallai ma Sadaukin nan” ina kallon wayar wannan kiran ya shigo ya katse wani ma ya shigo har ya gaji ya daina. Sai na dauki wayar ina kallon number din. Finally dai anyi unblocking dina kenan. Ya kamata dai inyi saving number din nan, amma wanne suna zan saka masa? Sadauki? Ko hamma kamar yadda naga Asma’u ta saka?

Sai kawai na bude keyboard dina nayi typing “Aliyu” nayi saving. Asma’u ta budo kofa ta shigo tun kafin tayi magana nasan me zata ce “ki zo inji Inna” na dauki hijab dina na saka na fita. Yana zaune can carpet a gefen kujerar da Inna take zaune, an cika masa gabansa da kayan ciye ciye, yayi kwalliyarsa cikin normal kananan kayansa. Nayi saurin dauke kaina daga kansa saboda zuciyata da naji tana kokarin barin kirjina. Na zagaya naje na zauna can nesa dasu nace “Inna gani” tace “baki ji Sadauki yazo ba? Ai dai kya fito ki gaishe shi ko?” Na kalleshi muka hada ido, har da wani langwabar da kai kamar wani abin tausayi. Na dauke kaina nace “sannu da zuwa” yace “yauwa. Ya gida ya makarantar?” Asma’u ta fara bashi labarin school dinsu, yana ta tsokanar ta wai jambite ni dai sai na mike zan bar musu gurin sai yayi sauri ya tashi yace “Inna zan wuce, Allah ya bamu alkhairi” tace “ameen, Allah yayi albarka” sai da ya je bakin kofa sai ya juyo yana shafa kai “ammm, Diyam. Akwai sakon Subay’a a mota ko zaki zo ki karba” nace “Asma’u, bi shi ki karbo mata” sai ta mike tayi hanyar daki tana waka “you know I love it when you call me senorita” ta shige daki ta rufo kofa. Na cigaba da zama na shi kuma yana tsaye a bakin kofa yana kallona sai kawai gani nayi Inna da dauko mafici tayo kaina dashi sai na tashi da sauri na fita. 

A garage na same shi a tsaye yana dariya. Na hade rai nace “ina sakon?” Yace “yanzu ke baiwar Allah sai Inna ta biyo ki da mafici sannan zaki zo gurina?” Nace “akwai sakon da zan karba ko babu?” Ya jingina a bango ya rungume hannayensa yace “babu, just want to see you, that’s all” nayi shiru, trying so hard not to look at him, yace “ba kya son gani na yanzu ko?”

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