DIYAM 50

❤️ DIYAM ❤️

By

Maman Maama

Episode Fifty: The Utterance 2

Assalamu alaikum my dear fans. Baki ba zai iya bayyana muku irin godiya ta a gare ku ba a bisa karbuwar da littafi na ya samu a zukatan ku. Nagode Nagode sosai kuma nima ina sonku a duk inda kuke.


A duk lokacin da marubuciya ta dauki biron ta dan rubutu, to tabbas da akwai wani topic a ranta da take son yin rubutu a kansa. Dan haka duk abinda zata rubuta will be akan wannan topic din. Sanda nayi niyya kuma na fara rubuta Diyam abinda yake raina guda biyu ne, na farko shine illolin auren dole na biyu kuma karfin soyayya ta gaskiya. Dan haka duk abinda nake rubutawa akan wadannan abubuwan ne.

So aim din bawai na koyawa mata yanda zasu gyara aurensu bane ba, aim din na nunawa iyaye da sauran al’umma illar auren dole ne. Allah yasa za’a fahimci manufa ta, ba wai ina nufin rayuwar da Diyam tayi a gidan Saghir itace dai dai ba, a’a, ina nuna akwai possibility na samun irin wannan rayuwar a auren da aka gina shi da tubalin kiyayya. 

A kodayaushe rubutu na is open for corrections, criticism and suggestions. Duk abinda ka gani wanda kake ganin ba dai dai bane ba zaka iya tuntubata ka nuna min ko kayi dropping comment yadda zamu hadu mu tattauna har a samu fahimta. Amma kuma, ita fahimta hausawa sunce fuska ce kowa da irin tasa.

Godiya ga wata baiwar Allah data yi min wani gyara a last episode, akan maganar da nayi ta cewa “nothing gives a man the right to hit his wife” what I should have said a gurin shine “nothing gives a man the right to hit his wife the way Saghir did” saboda munsan cewa an bawa maza damar horon disobedient wife da bakin sutturar su, shima kuma sai akace kar su taba fuska. Nagode baiwar Allah duk da bansan sunan ki ba. Lol

Kar in cika ku da surutu, ga Diyam………..
Na tsaya a gurin tamkar wadda aka dasa ni, ina kallon bayan motarsa, ina nan tsaye su Alhaji Babba suka fito suka shiga motar Kawu Isa suka tafi ba tare da sun ko kalli inda nake tsaye ina kukan rabani da yata ba. Asma’u ta fito da tazo ta kamani “Adda kiyi hakuri kizomu koma gida, ki rabu dashi yayi ta tafiya da ita din, Allah zai baki wadansu kuma ita din ma da kafafuwanta zata dawo gurinki” ta kama ni muka shiga ciki. Muka tarar da Inna ta zabga ragumi idonta yayi ja, Asma’u tace “dan Allah Inna kar ki wani tayar da hankalin ki, ance musu in babu su ba zamu iya rayuwa ba ne ba? Ai mu kwallon mangwaro muka yar muka huta da kuda wallahi. Da auren Saghir ba gwara babu ba?” Inna tace “hmmm. Asma’u ke yarinya ce. Ba zaki gane ba”.

Ni dai sai na wuce su na shiga daki na zauna a bakin gado. All I have ever wanted tun da aka daura aurena da Saghir shine inji sanda zai furta da bakinsa yace ya sake ni. To gashi na samu amma kuma yanayin da sakin yazo min sai yasa naji sam banji dadinsa yadda nayi tunanin zanji ba. Hakan kuma yana da dangantaka da abubuwa da dama. Na farko zargin da Saghir ya sake ni saboda shi, wanda kuma ba gaskiya bane ba, na biyu zumunci daya karasa lalacewa tsakanin mu da yan uwanmu, na uku Subay’a I can’t even imagine yadda rayuwar Subay’a zata zamo a gidan Saghir ba tare dani ba. In banda mutuwa menene yake raba uwa da yar karamar yarta? Amma ni gani a raye amma an raba ni da tawa yar. And I asked myself then, shin Saghir yana da wannan damar?

Ranar haka na karasa wuni raina babu dadi. Da nazo sallah kuwa ina dora goshina a kasa sai kuka, zuciyata ta cunkushe gabaki daya, na idar na daga hannuna da niyyar yin addu’a amma sai na rasa me zan roka kuma. Sai kawai na roki Allah daya dubi zuciyata tunda ya fini ni kaina sanin abinda yake cikin ta, na roke shi ya daidaita min lamurana zuwa ga abinda yake shine dai-dai bawai abinda ita zuciyar tawa take so ba, ya saka rabuwar nan da mukayi da Saghir ta zamanto mafi alkhairi a gare mu baki daya, sannan ya bayyana gaskiya ya goge zargi ya kawo daidaito tsakanin mu da yan uwan mu. Na kuma roke shi daya kasance tare da Subay’a a duk inda take.

 My life had been full of challenges so far, na fuskanci kaddarori iri iri wadansu naji dadin yadda na dauke su wasu kuma I have made a total mess of them. Amma a cikin regrets dina babu rabuwa da Saghir, na daiyi regretting irin zaman da mukayi amma banyi regretting kuma bana jin zanyi regretting zama na dashi. For more than eight years muna tare dashi amma dai dai da rana daya ban taba jin zuciyata tana sonshi ba, ko da kuwa a cikin ranakun da yake kyautata min ne sai dai inni kiyayyar sa ta dan kwanta min amma ba dai ta tafi ba ballantana sonsa ya shiga. Nayi addu’ar kuma kullum, kullum nayi sallah sai nayi addu’ar idan zamana da Saghir ne mafi alkhairi Allah ya rage min kiyayyar sa a zuciya ta. Dan haka da akayi rabuwar sai nayi taking that as shine zabin Allah kuma ma roke shi ya cigaba da zaba mini.

Na fara zaman iddah a nan gaban inna, ba inda nake zuwa sai kewayen maman iman sometimes inyi kallo musamman in Asma’u ta tafi makaranta, sometimes kuma in zauna anan dakin Inna inyi ta karatu wanda shine yake kara nitsar min da zuciyata ina jina ina zama at ease. Inna ta gayawa Mama abinda ya faru, kuma tazo har gida ta ganni ta kuma yi min nasihohi sosai akan karbar kaddara da kuma shirin facing rayuwar da zata zo min. Tace “in kin gama iddah Diyam makaranta zaki koma. Kar ma kiyi tunanin aure gwara kiyi karatu ki huta kema jini ya dawo jikinki sosai. Sannan ki samu exposure. Kuma ki koma islamiyya ki karasa saukar ki dama kin kusa ko?” Na daga mata kai, tace “sai ki karasa kuma ki fara hadda, ki cigaba da bin sauran littattafan addini suma kina kara buda kwakwalwar ki” nace “insha Allah Mama”. Washegari sai ga Rumaisa amarya tazo gurina. Muka wuni tare muna ta hirarrakin mu sai naji hankalina ya kwanta sosai.

Monday Sadauki yazo kamar yadda ya saba zuwa. Last Monday bai zoba ya kira Inna yace wani issue ne ya rike shi a Maiduguri amma tayi hakuri. Wannan Monday din kuwa tun safe naga tana ta haɗa masa kunun aya wai taga yana so, ta dama masa fura itama ta saka a fridge ni dai ina ta kallonta. Yamma tana yi, dama nasan da yamma yake zuwa sai na saka hijab dina na tafi gurin Maman iman muka kafa hirar mu. Bana son ganinsa yanzu kuma nasan kona zauna a cikin daki in yazo sai Inna tace in fito in gaishe shi. Amma muna zaune kawai sai ga baban iman da baki sunzo, dan haka dole nayi musu sallama na fita na koma gurin Inna. Ina shiga naga takalmin namiji a kofar palo, sai na jawo farar kujera na zauna a tsakar gida amma ina zama inna ta kira ni, na bata rai kamar zanyi kuka na tashi na shiga. Yana zaune a kasa, Asma’u kusa dashi da wata takarda a hannun ta tana nuna masa wani abu suna magana a nutse. Ga kunun ayansa nan a cup a hannunsa yana sha. Na zauna a gaban Inna nace “sannu da zuwa” ya dago ya min kallo daya ya mayar da kansa yace “sannu maman Subay’a” sai ya cigaba da yiwa Asma’u bayanin wanda na fahimci kamar takardar jamb ce take kokarin cikewa. Na mike na shiga daki nayi kwanciya ta. Sai naji Inna tace masa “Diyam fa sun rabu da Saghir” naji yace “rabuwa Inna” cikin mamaki, Inna tace “rabuwa fa, ya sake ta” yayi dan shiru sannan yace “ya Salam. Subhanallah. Abu baiyi kyau ba. Allah yasa hakan shi ya fi musu alkhairi” Inna tace “ameen” Asma’u tace “ai rabuwar ma itace alkhairi hamma, wannan auren na Adda ai dashi gwara babu” Inna tace “rufe min baki sarkin magana. Waye ya tambaye ki? Tashi ki fita” ta tashi ta fita. Sadauki yace “na dauka ai ko ganin ku tazo yi” Inna tace “uhm uhm, ai satinta biyu kenan anan. Tun sanda nayi maka wayar nan ai bata koma ba dama. Nan yazo har gabana ya sake ta yasa hannu ya dauki yarsa” yace “Subay’a? Ita ta bashi ita ko kuma shine kawai ya dauke ta?” Inna tace “ina kuwa zata bashi ita? Gata nan tunda ya dauki yarinyar nan kullum sai na ganta tana kuka kuma nasan kukan yarta take yi amma ya zanyi?” Yace “a’a in dai ba ita ta bashi ita ba to zata iya karbar yarta. Ai both islamically da constitutionally bashi da right din daukar yarinyar” Inna tace “to ta yaya za’a karbo ta kenan?” Yace “ba wahala ai. Ko hisba akaje akayi reporting zasu karbo yarinyar a hannunsa su kawo mata” Inna ta jinjina kai tace “mutanen nan sunyi mana ba dai dai ba daga ni har yaran nan, amma yanuwan mune. Bana son cigaba da rigima dasu so nakeyi a samu fahimta a tsakanin mu. Amma zabin Diyam ne” sai ta saka baki ta kira ni. Na gyara hijab dina na fita, sai na ganshi a zaune yana daddanna waya kamar ba shine yanzu suke magana rai rai da Inna ba, na zauna a gabanta nace gani, tace “Sadauki yace za’a iya karbar Subay’a a hannun Saghir in aka gayawa hisba. Kina so a karbo miki ita?” Na juya na kalle shi busy with his phone, at least a matsayin da yake dashi na yayana da muka tashi tare kuma Inna ta bashi wannan labarin ai ya kamata ko magana mai dadi ce yayi min, sai na dauke kaina nace “ina son karbar Subay’a Inna, kuma zan karbo ta insha Allah amma bana bukatar taimakon sa. I can do it on my own” sai naga yayi sauri ya dago kai yana kallona. Yace “how?” Nace “ba kace hisba ba? Ai nasan hanyar hisba din kuma ina da bakin da zanyi musu bayani in naje” Na daga kafada na mike na komawa ta daki.

Daga nan babu wanda ya sake maganar karbar Subay’a ni kuma kullum yarinyar tana raina, kullum zan kwanta bacci sai nayi tunanin ko tayi bacci? In ina cin abinci sai na tunanin ko taci in na tashi da safe sai nayi tunanin ko an tashe ta an shirya ta zuwa makaranta? Kullum kuma a kowacce Sallah sai nayi mata addu’a amma kuma kamar yadda Inna ta fada bana son cigaba da rigima dasu Alhaji Babba, so nake a samu daidaito. Amma daidaiton da baiyi involving komawa ta gidan Saghir ba.

Lokaci ya cigaba da tafiya, har nayi wata biyu a gida. Duk sati ranar Monday sai Sadauki yazo gidan da yamma, in kuma ba zai samu zuwa ba to zai kira Asma’u ko Inna yace musu ba zai zo ba amma ni ko zuwa yayi gaisuwa ce kawai a tsakanin mu, sai sometimes ya kan tambayeni ko da abinda nake so to which I always reply “babu komai. Nagode”.

Su Alhaji basu sake kallon inda muke ba ballantana Saghir. Ni kuma sosai na kwantar da hankali na babu abinda yake damuna sai kewar Subay’a. Har yar kiba ta nayi na kara haske. 

Ranar nan na hada kayan Subay’a da muka taho dasu gidan, nima kuma ina bukatar kayan amfani dan wadanda nazo dasu sunyi min kadan ga kuma har phone dita tana gidan Saghir. Amma sam bana son zuwa gidan Saghir, duk kuwa da cewa ina son ganin Subay’a amma bana jin zan iya taka gidan dan haka sai na bawa Asma’u ta kai mata sannan na lissafa mata abubuwan da zata dauko min kafin a debo kayana. Tunda akayi sakin inna take cewa za’a debo kaya amma jin su maman iman suna shirin tashi saboda sun kammala ginin su yasa Inna tace a bari sai sun tashi tukunna saboda a samu gurin ajiye kayan.

Asma’u ta shirya taje ta dauko min duk kayan da nake bukata, amma sai tace min Subay’a bata gidan, daga alama gurin Hajiya Babba ya kaita. Sai na fara tunanin to chanza mata school yayi ko kuma dai tana gida kawai? Sai kuma tace min Fauziyya tace in na kunna waya ta zata kirani. Kuma ta bani labarin cewa “kinga gidan nan kuwa Adda? Gaba ki daya ya lalace har wani karni yake marar dadi. Kayanki kuwa in ba’a je an debo su ba to kuwa sai dai a wuce dasu bola. Na tarar da Saghir a gidan ma, yana kwance a palo ni ko kallon sa banyi ba na shiga na dauko abinda zan dauko na fito”.

Da yamma nayi charging wayata da daddare kuma na kunna. Fauziyya ta kirani few minutes after na kunna. Muka gaisa tace “Halima yanzu wai da gaske ba zaki dawo ba?” Nayi dariya nace “my fight is over Fauziyya. Na gama. Bai gaya miki ya sake ni ba?” tace “ya gaya min amma ai saki daya ne dan haka akwai chance na zaki dawo din. Ya gaya min komai bayan kin tafi, kuma ni zanji dadi in kika dawo gidan nan. He loves you da gaske, in ma da baya sonki yanzu gaskiya yana sonki. Ya gaya min dalilin da yasa ya aure ni. Ni kuma na aure shine saboda ina son inyi settling down sai yazo da maganar aure ni kuma na karba. But a yanzu halin da yake ciki bayan tafiyarki I don’t think Saghir is the right person to settle down with. Sun daura abota shi da shaye shaye. Most of the time ma baya kwana gida, kullum masifa kullum zage zage. Shi ne na kira in gaya miki, for the sake of your only daughter ki dawo maybe zai dawo hankalinsa in kina nan”. 

Nace “kiyi hakuri Fauziyya, but kamar yadda na fada miki. Na gama. For more than eight years nake tare da Saghir amma babu abinda muka tsinta a ciki auren mu daga ni har shi in banda wahala. Rabuwar insha Allah itace alkhairi. And kar kice baya sonki, tunda har ya zabeki a cikin sauran mata ya aure ki to kuwa tabbas yana sonki. Ki ci gaba da kokarin ki, it will be okay with you insha Allah”.

And then one day, lokacin har nayi period biyu ina jiran daya. Monday, ranar da Sadauki yake zuwa sai Rufaida tayi rashin lafiya dan haka Mama ta tafi dubata ta barmu gida ni da Asma’u. Ni nama manta ranar Sadauki yake zuwa dan haka ina zaune a palo ina kallon wani film din hausa da na aro a gurin maman iman kawai sai jin sallamar sa nayi. Na tashi zaune sosai na gyara hijab dina sai gasu sun shigo shida Asma’u tana ta zuba masa surutu shi kuma yana mata dariya. Ya zauna ta gaishe shi ya tambaye ta ina Inna ta gaya masa bata nan. Sai ya dafe kai “kash, yau kice bani da kunun aya kenan” Asma’u tace “lah, sai da tayi maka ai kafin ta fita” sai ta tashi ta dauko masa ta zuba masa yana sha sannan na gaishe shi “sannu da zuwa. Ya office?” Ya kalle ni yace “yauwa. Lafiya lau” and that was all. Naji wani makokon takaici ya tokare ni. It really does hurt to be ignored, especially by someone da kuka saba sosai. 

Sai kawai na kara volume din kallo na a raina ina fatan karar zata dame shi ya tashi ya fita amma sai ma naga sun dauko takardu shida Asma’u suna dubawa suna ta magana, kallo nake amma hankali na yana kansu sai na fahimci maganar ssce suke yi tana cewa “ni dai dan Allah hamma ka cire ni daga makarantar mu ka saka ni a government school in yi exams dina a can, wallahi government anfi ci, private basa bayarda da amsa” yarike baki “au kenan amsa kike so a baki? Maimakon kiyi karatu kici da kanki?” Tace “chaf, wadanda ma suka fini kokari basa ci ballantana ni? Yanzu kuma kaga in banci ssce din nan ba jamb dina ta tashi a banza kenan fa sai na sake wata” yayi dariya yace “kinsan kuwa sau nawa na zana jamb? Kuma a karshen karshe dai ban samu admission din dana ke nema ba” sai ta juyo ta kalle ni tace “Adda kema da kin sani kin cike form din jamb din. Kinga sai muyi tare in ba haka ba sai next year kuma” nayi kamar ban jita ba sai naji yace “in kina so sai a kawo miki gobe” na juyo na kalle shi naga yana kallona sai na kalli sides dina kamar me neman wani abu sannan na nuna kaina nace “are you talking to me?” 

Sai yayi kamar zaiyi dariya amma ya wani maxe ya dauke kai yace “kina so ko ba kya so?” Nace “ina so, amma karka wahalar da kanka gurin kawo min, zan kira yaya Mukhtar ince ya siyo ya kawo min” ya daga kafada yace “duk daya. Tunda kinci waec dinki ba sai kin sake ba” sai na kalle shi da mamaki, I don’t remember telling him cewa nayi waec ballantana zancen naci, nace “ya akayi kasan naci waec?”. Sai kawai ya zauna yana kallona. And then all of a sudden sai ganin Saghir mukayi ya shigo palon hannunsa rike da Subay’a. He looked at me then at Sadauki and then at me again. Subay’a ta saki hannunsa ta taho gurina da gudu na bude hannuna na rungume ta ina jin dadi har cikin raina. 

Saghir yace “what the f…..” Sai nayi sauri na mike nace “Asma’u dauki Subay’a ku fita” dan nasan halin Saghir zai iya fadin komai ko yin komai a gaban Subay’a shi babu ruwansa. Ai kuwa tun kafin su fita ya fara “wato na matsa na baku dama ko? Shine wato zaku cigaba daga inda kuka tsaya? Ba kwajin kunyar duniya ba kuma kwajin ta Allah ko?” Sai Sadauki ya gyara zamansa ya dora kafa daya akan daya yayi folding hannunsa yana kallon Saghir. Ni kuma sai na mike, gabaki dayan su basa gabana dan haka baxan tsaya su bata min raina a banza ba. Nazo zan wuce Saghir ya kamo hannuna “ina zaki je? Munafuka kina wani saka hijabi kamar mumina” nayi kokarin kwace hannuna nace “don’t touch me” ya maimaita “don’t touch me, don’t touch me kullum don’t touch me.” Sai ya juya yana kallon Sadauki yace “but I did touched her. Dan haka gwanjo nace. Duk inda zaka shiga babu inda ban shiga na fita ba and I left my foot print there” raina ya kai kololuwar baci, ban ma san me zance ba sai ji nayi Sadauki ya danyi dariya yace “are you sure about that?” Na kama kokawar kwace hannuna daga rikon Saghir zuciyata tana tafasa, zan so ace na fisu karfi in hada su duk su biyun inyi ta duka, how dare they talked about me like that.

Saghir yace “of cause am sure kasan a ledarta na bare ta. Sabuwa fil aka kawo min ita and I took her virginity” I froze. What? Ba zan ma iya kallon side din da Sadauki yake ba amma sai naji yace “ita nake so, not her virginity so….” Na kwace hannuna da sauri nayi bakin kofa hawaye yana bin fuskata, kafin in fita Saghir ya finciko hijab dina ya dawo dani cikin palon, ya hada ni da jikinsa muna facing Sadauki, Sadauki ya mike tsaye, Saghir yace “me yasa zaki gudu ne? Dan ke fa ake wannan taron ai ya kamata ki tsaya ki saurara kema ki tofa albarkacin bakinki a ciki. For example, tell him about our first night, tunda yace bai damu ba tell him how I did it maybe zai damu” na fara girgiza kaina da sauri. It is either Saghir is drunk ko kuma kwakwalwar sa ta fara tabuwa. And he said it. “I raped her” and then I saw a flash of fire a idon Sadauki. Saghir ya sake maimaita wa “I raped her the first night da aka kai min ita gida na. That was how she got pregnant for me har ta haifa min twins”. 

Sadauki took one step sai nayi saurin kwace jikina daga Saghir na tari gaban Sadauki na daga masa hannu “don’t. Kar kace wani abu kar kayi wani abu just go” Saghir yace “yeah. Just go. But before you go, listen to this. Na mayar da ita dakinta.” Na juyo da sauri ina kallonsa zuciyata tana bugawa kamar zata bar kirjina nace “no, no” yace “yes. Na mayar dake tunda dama saki daya nayi miki kuma shima bada son raina ba. Na mayar dake saboda ina son ki sannan kuma saboda I want him to think of you every night of every day when laying on his empty bed har zuwa ranar da zaki bar duniya ko kuma shi zai bar duniya. Sai inga karshen soyayya”.

Inna ce ta shigo dakin da sauri, daga alama taga motocinsu a waje kuma tayi sensing something is wrong. Tana zuwa bata ce komai ba sai ta kama hannun Sadauki ta ja shi da sauri ta fitar dashi daga palon. Kafin su fita ya juyo ya kalleni and I saw a look on his face similar to wanda na gani ranar da zamu rabu a gidan Alhaji Babba. Na juya da gudu na shige bedroom din Inna na rufe kofa.