A ZATO NA COMPLETE

Ya saki yar dariya mai sauti, “yayi kyau. One thing though, ina neman alfarmar kiyi min fahimta mai kyau, ki kuma fahimci kyakkyawar manufata a gareki. Don Allah idan na bayyana miki kaina Na’ilah, kada ki guje ni!”.

Tunda muke dashi yau ne karo na farko da naji ainihin sunana ya fita daga fatar bakinshi, naji jikina yayi sanyi, nasan he’s serious. Nace “in shaa Allah Muhammad, zan yi iyaka kokarina”.
Yace “good, and no matter what kada ki manta cewa ina son ki Baby”.
Sai kuma naji gabana yana duka sosai, maganganunshi suke nema su tayar min da hankali, nace “wani abu yana faruwa ne Muhammad? Kana tsorata ni!”.

Yace “babu abinda ya faru baby, ki kuma kwantar da hankalinki. Am sorry idan yanayin halayena suna tsorata ki, I couldn’t help myself”.
Sai muka yi shiru, kamar wasu wadanda aka wa rasuwa, can kuma sai yayi gyaran murya, yace “don’t mind me fa, insecurities ne irin nawa, amma babu komi we are safe. Saboda haka ki koma barcinki yadda zaki tashi da wuri kin shirya delicacies na tara na, tuwo za’a dafa min ne ko kuma shinkafa?!”.

Nan da nan na warware, muka fara magana akan abinda ya dace in tanadar mishi. Sai daya tabbatar da cewa na ware, sannan ya min sallama, bakinshi yana kara nanata min kalamomin so da kauna.

Muna gama wayar na koma na kwanta tare da janyo filo na rungume a kirjina, zuciyata cike da farinciki mara misaltuwa. Gobe zan ga Muhammadu na!!.

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Daren ranar nayi barcin da ban taba yin irinsa ba koda wasa, cike da mafarkai masu dadi wasu kuma very weird.
Abu na farko daya fara fado min a cikin raina lokacin dana farka daga barcin daya daukeni bayan nayi sallar asubahi shine, ‘what a ridiculous dream!’, wani irin mafarki dana rasa gane kanshi balle gindinshi. A ganina meye hadin biri da kaska?! Na yakitar da wannan mafarki domin kwata-kwata bai ma yi kama da abinda zan kasa a cikin raina ya dameni a banza a wofi ba.

Tunda na tashi da safe na rasa inda zanyi da raina saboda murna da jindadi. I practically glowed all day. Tun da safe na gama duk wasu abubuwa daya kamata inyi, nayi wankin kayan uniform dina, bayan sun bushe na goge su na ajiye, sannan na kara gyara kayana.
Munyi dashi akan sai yammaci likis sannan zai zo, ban san abinda yakamata in mishi ba wanda zai ci ba, don haka bayan na gama wanki na hada meat pie wanda nayi filling da minced meat har da su carrots da dankalin turawa. Na hada mishi zobo hadadde saboda in dai harkar hada drinks ne musamman na gargajiya, ni kaina nasan cewa na iya sosai. Mawuyaci ne wanda ya sha ya kushe. Bayan nan na sayo lemun exotic na abarba da kwakwa da ruwan cikin gora, na kaishi dakin wata yar ajinmu da take da firjin na roketa ta ajiye min zuwa anjima da yamma yadda zai yi sanyi, tace babu damuwa.
Gabadaya na kasa zaune na kasa tsaye, motsi kadan na lalubo waya, ko in duba lokaci ko kuma in turawa Muhammad text. Ji nake kamar in janyo yinin ranar saboda nisan da naga yayi min.

Karfe hudu na yammacin ranar, ina zaune a gefen kujerata ina nade gashin kaina. Jiya na warware kalbar kalbar sallah da Janan ta min, na je saloon na wanke shi. Yanzu dana taje shi sai ya zubo har gadon bayana, yana ta sheki da tashin kamshin shampoo. Da yake ban cika son nuna gashi a waje ba, sai nake nade kayana in saka cikin dakwali ko hula.

Wata bugaggiyar doguwar rigar atamfa ce na saka, irin dinkin yan Senegale dinnan ne. Atamfar kanta yar can ce, wata tafiya da Yaya Mudatthir yayi zuwa can gudanar da wani aiki, ya kawo min ita a dinkenta. Sau daya kacal na taba sakata. Dinkin zanen single ne, rigar kuma kamar half buba dinnan ce, data tsaya min a gwiwa, dankwalin mai fadi ne sosai, na kashe daurin Zara Buhari a kan nawa. Dana tsayawa karewa kaina kallo a madubi, ni kaina sai dana burge kaina. Allah ya azurtani da baiwar wani irin tattausan kyawu, irin kyawun nan da ba’a gani kai tsaye, sai a hankali a hankali yake fita. Wai a hakan ma don ba wata kwalliyar kirki nayi ba, hoda kawai na shafa tare da murza kwalli a idanuna, nayi amfani da brush na taje gashin girata, daga shi ban kara komi ba.
Abinda Esther ta dinga yiwa korafi kenan, tace in zo ta min kwalliya ko da simple one ce, “bai kamata ki je wa saurayin da zaku hadu dashi yau a karo na farko haka ba, ba kya tsoron yaji baya yi dake?”.

Na rolling idanu sama tare da jefa mata baki, nace “a haka nake so ya ganni ya kuma so ni, ni fa ba rokon ya so ni nake yi ba. Sannan ke kina ganin nayi miki kama da wadanda maza zasu kalla suji basa so ne?”.
Ta girgiza kai tana murmushi, “ba karya abokiyar, kinyi fa! Ai karya ne wani da namiji ya kalleki yace baki yi ba, ko matan ma tankawa suke yi balle kuma maza. Abinda kawai nake so ki sani shine, ku hausawa da kanku ne kuka ce idan kana kyau ka kara da wanka. Kinga duk da kina da kyanki tubarkallah son kowa kin wanda ya rasa, ina ga da kin dan kara koda mascara ne da eyeshadow yadda zaki kara fitowa sosai, ki kara rikita shi, kin gane ai”.

Ni duk bayanan da take watsawa sauraronta kawai nake yi ba wai don ina fahimtarta ba, duk wucewar dakika daya, fargabar dake cikin zuciyata karuwa take yi. Nerves sun cika min ciki.
Nace mata “ni duk ban damu da irin wadannan abubuwan ba, fatana kawai ya karbeni a yadda nake. Zan fi son ya ganni a ainihin wacece ni, ba wai kyale-kyalin banza ba”.
Tace “kinyi yar gaskiya kuma”. Ni dai na kauda kaina gefe kawai don bana jin zan iya tsayawa yin doguwar hira a halin da nake ciki yanzu.

Karfe biyar da rabi daidai, sai ga kiran wayarshi. Hannuwana har rawa suke yi lokacin dana dauki wayar na karata a saitin kunnena. Nace “hello?”, da kyar kamar wadda take koyon magana.
Yace “yanzu na karaso kofar hostel din, ina daga waje ina jiranki”, cikin wani irin husky voice, deep and soothing a lokaci guda. Sai naji kamar yau na taba jin muryar. Naji wata irin rawar cikin jiki ta ziyarceni, kamar na fito waje cikin muku-mukun sanyinnan, na kakaro sautin “to”, daga can kasan makoshi na kamar an shake ni. Na kashe wayar na ajiye a gefena ina maida numfashi da sauri da sauri kamar wadda tayi gudun ceton rai.

Sai dana tabbatar da natsuwata ta dawo cikin jikina, sannan na tashi tsaye, duk da haka sai da naji kamar zan kifa saboda yadda kafafuna suke rawa. Wani tray dana amsa wajen Esther, mai fadi ne ba laifi, da zanen manyan jajayen furanni a jiki. A cikin jug dinshi na zuba zobon da nayi, na yanka cucumber da kankana kanana a ciki bayan na cire ‘ya’yan, su kuma kananun cups din jug din na kifa guda biyu akan tray din.
Na shirya meat pie din akan wani karamin plate, na kawo foil paper na rufe shi. Na dora lemun dana amso da ruwan akan tray din, aka yi sa’a ya kwashe duka.

Na kara duba fuskata a cikin madubi naga lafiya lau, na dauki gyale mai dan fadi nayi yafawar zamani, na kawo turaren fantasy na kara badawa a jikina. Duk wadannan abubuwa da nake yi, cikin takatsan-tsan da rawar jiki nake yinsu. Na dauki takalmi mai dan tudu baki na saka, sannan na dauki tray din wannan da wayata na fita.

Akwai wani karamin waje daga can gefen hostel din, yawanci dalibai kanyi karatu a ciki musamman irin group assignment da aka hada maza da mata a ciki, nan suke zuwa suyi karatun. Ko kuma idan wata daliba tayi baki nan take zuwa dasu idan maza ne. Nima can na fito da rana na samu wata yar kwana, inda babu yawan giccin mutane sosai na share na kuma goge kujerun da aka kera na sumunti a wajen da niyar nan zan jagoranci Muhammad din idan yazo.