A ZATO NA COMPLETE

Darare da dama da na sha zama, ina kokarin lallashin kaina, sai dai I just can’t bring myself to do that! Na kasa! A duk lokacin dana tuna da irin ukuba, tashin hankali, damuwa da rikicin da muka shiga ciki, ko kuma wanda muke ciki har yanzu a gidanmu, wanda kishiyoyi ne suka yi sanadin haka sai inji zuciyata ta dugunzuma, inji hankalina ya tashi.

Jin shirun da nayi, yasa ta dafa kafadata, tare da tallabo kaina da hannunta daya. Bani da zabi sai na daga idanuna da suka cika da kwalla na sauke a kanta.

Ta girgiza kanta, tace “wallahi mamaki kike bani Na’ilah. You are just beating yourself akan abu mai sauki. Sai me don Yaya Bilal yana da mata? Ke yanzu ba abin alfahari bane a gareki, mutum kamar Yaya Bilal ya so ki, ya sadaukar da muhimman bigire nashi a kanki? Ba yabon kai ba, Yaya Bilal kyakkyawan mutum ne, mafarkin kowace diya mace. Amma ke ga damar samunshi a ruwan sanyi kin samu, kin zauna kina jan aji da kawo wasu dalilai naki da basu da makama ko kadan. Gaya min, matan shi ne, rashin haihuwar da baya yi ne, ko kuma shi a karan kanshi ne?? Idan mata ne, yace miki ba a waje daya zai hada ki dasu ba. Idan kuma haihuwa ce, ina mai tabbatar miki da cewa Yaya Bilal lafiyarsa lau, Allah ne bai kawo mishi haihuwa ba har yanzu. Idan kuma shi dinne, menene aibun Yaya Bilal saboda Allah? Ni dai nasan Yayana mutum ne mai nagarta, sai dai idan anki Allah ne za’a ce bai yi ba!”.

Tunda ta fara maganar nake girgiza mata kai, amma banyi yunkurin katseta ba sai data dire aya. Nace “ban taba tunanin kin Yaya saboda rashin haihuwa ba, ita haihuwa nasan ta Allah ce, duk kuma kokarin mutum, idan Allah bai mishi baiwar haihuwar ba, babu abinda zai iya yi game da hakan sai dai hakuri kawai. Don haka ban taba yin wannan tunanin ba. Sai dai kamar yadda kika ce, yes matan Yaya, sannan shi a karan kanshi ba tsaran aurena bane. Meye hadin biri da gada idan ba rigima ba? Daidai ruwa daidai tsaki, sai kiga an zauna lafiya. In gaya miki gaskiya Yaya Bilal ya fi karfina.

Ba son kai ba, aure nake so inyi mai cike da kwanciyar hankali Janan, ba zan baro masifar kishiya ba, sannan kuma in fada cikin wata wadda ma tafi waccan, kuma ina sane. Idan nayi haka ban yiwa kaina adalci ba. Na fa san komi Janan, ba yau aka auren soyayya ba a gaban idanunmu ba, amma tun kafin aje ko’ina kiga labari ya sha banban. Wannan wadanda ba zaune suke da kishiya bama fa kenan, ina ga wadanda zasu zauna da kishiya? Allah ya gani, so nake in shimfida rayuwar aure mai ma’ana, daga ni sai mijina sai ‘ya’yan da zamu haifa. Wannan itace rayuwar dana dinga hangowa kaina Janan, bana kuma tunanin zan iya kauda kai, ina ji ina gani, in kai kaina cikin kabari na!”.

Ina dire maganar ta tare ni, “to wa yace miki ba zaki iya irin rayuwar da kike hangowa ba da Yaya Bilal? Kin gwada ne kin gani?”.

Nayi dan murmushi cike da kunar zuciya, nace “Janan kenan! Ke baki san kaidi irin na kishiya ba, baki san komi game da sharri da kissa da kisisina irin ta kishiya ba, bana kuma tunanin zaki taba sani. Don haka ki kama bakinki kawai ki ja, ni naga abinda na gani da idanun nan nawa, abinda na gani kuma ba abu bane mai kyau, don haka tarihi fa ba zai maimaita kansa a kaina ba Janan! To dame ma zan ji ne? Da miji zan ji, ko kuwa tashin hankalin kishiya? Barni dai inji da abu daya, hankalina zai fi kwanciya!”.

Janan kallona take yi kamar wata sabuwar halitta, nasan yadda na hakikance ne abin yake bata mamaki. Bazan damu ba though, ance wai riga-kafi yafi magani, kuma hanyar lafiya a bita da shekara. Gwanda dai in tsaya kyam akan ra’ayina, idan zuciyata ta fara rawa akan wannan maganar, me zai faru kenan? Na san it’s only a matter of time, da zan manta da wani Yaya Bilal. Balle duka mai ya rage mana a Zaria? Yan watanni ne kawai. Idan na samu na lallabi zuciyata, na lallaba na bar Zaria, nasan ikon Allah ne kawai zai sake dawo da ni cikinta. Kenan idan na tafi, ta ina zan ga Yaya balle har wani tunanin zama dashi da masifaffun matanshi ya darsu a cikin raina? Abinda nake bukatar inyi kawai shine in daure, in kuma yi kokarin mantawa dashi.
Sai dai fadar, tafi aikatawar dadin fada.

Janan ta girgiza kanta cikin rashin sanin abin cewa, tace “gaskiya kinyi nisa da yawa, Allah ya ganar dake”.
Nima na girgiza mata kaina, nace “ba zaki taba ganewa ba Janan, ba zaki gane ba!”.

Bata ce komi ba, ta cigaba da tafiya. Nima na bi bayanta.
Tun daga wannan yar sa’insa da muka yi, babu wanda ya sake tado maganar har lokacin tashinmu yayi. Kai babu ma wata doguwar magana data sake hada mu da ita, naga kamar ma wani haushi na take ji. Ni ma da yake raina a dagule yake, ban wani damu ba. Lokacin tashi yana yi, na bar ward din. Ranar ko sallama bamu yi ba.

Ina komawa daki na dora indomie, ba wata yunwa nake ji ba, amma tunda ranar garin yau ta waye babu komi a cikin cikina sai biskit din pure bliss da hot chocolate. Ina gama dafawa na dora ruwan shayi, na dauki lemun tsami na matse a cikin shayin na juye a cikin mug. Dana gama na daukesu zuwa gefen katifata na ajiye, ni kuma na zauna. Laptop dina na dauka na kunna kallon wani American film, ‘Another Cinderella Story’ na fara kallo ina kuma cin indomin. Kallo kawai nake yi, amma bana wani fahimtar kallon. Har na gama na kauda kayan, na dawo na cigaba da kallon. Ina nan zaune Esther ta dawo, na mata sannu da zuwa, na maida hankalina kacokam ga film din da nake kallo don bani da kuzarin zama yin hira da ita. To da yake ma ba zama ya kawo ta ba, kayan jikinta kawai ta canza ta sake fita.
Ina cikin yin kallon barci ya kwashe ni.

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Ban jima da fara barcin ba amma, kiran daya shigo cikin wayata ya katse min shi.
Na zabura na tashi zaune tare da lalubar wayata, duk da kalar ringtone din, hakan bai hana ni kara duba sunan mai kiran ba domin in tabbatar da cewa da gaske ne ba mafarki ba.
Ban san dalilin da yasa na kasa goge lambar Yaya Bilal daga cikin wayata ba, kai ko suna har yanzu ban iya canza mishi ba. Har yau ‘Muhammadu na’ ne a jiki, shine kuma yake tsalle yana karawa akan screen din wayata.

Duk da tsananin rawar da hannuna yake yi, da yadda zuciyata take bugawa, da yadda nasan bani da abinda zan ce mishi, hakan bai hana ni dagawa ba.
Hatta da muryata rawa take yi lokacin da naji muryarshi tana ratsawa ta cikin dodon kunnena, na amsa cikin sanyin jiki da murya. Yaushe rabon da inji wannan muryar? Ji nake kamar na shekara da shekaru.

Yaya Bilal yace “hmmm, Na’ilah kenan, manyan kasa. Kin gama fushin ne?”.
Nace “fushi kuma, fushin me zan yi?”.
Yace “nima ban sani ba Na’ilah, kawai dai nasan kina yin fushi. Amma duk ba wannan ba, kina ganin zamu iya magana yanzu? Are you ready for that?”. Nayi shiru ina sauraronshi, ina tunanin ya dauki shirun da nayi a matsayin go ahead, don haka ya fara magana.

Yace “ba kya ganin it’s high time, mu ajiye duk wasu abubuwan da suka faru a baya a bayanmu mu fuskanci gaba? Bai kamata ace muna ta tsalle-tsalle a waje daya ba kamar kananan yara, please let’s do this like the matured people we are!”.

Tabdijam! Naji wani kululu ya makale min a makoshi, cikin nuna alamun bacin rai nace “kana nufin kace min ni yarinya ce ko kuma ina dabi’a irin ta yara?”.